Stressed out at School and needing to come Home

A couple of weeks ago, I was so stressed out at school that I left right in the middle of the day.

Gone. Home.

Have you ever felt so stressed, bored or frustrated at school that you were going to explode? Going home was literally my last resort strategy, but I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I didn’t have an angry explosion, just a fit of “bleh.”

I went home because I’m allowed to go home if things get really bad at school. Not everyone understands this but it works. Is this a good strategy? Bad parenting? Worse yet… am I just “avoiding” my responsibility? Feel free to let me know your opinion in the comments at the bottom of this blog. Here’s how I see it.

My side of things

I started feeling so incredibly bored because I finished my math test quickly and still had about an hour and a half left of class.  I had put in the work to be ready for the test, it wasn’t like I just didn’t .

I want to describe that feeling of being so bored it’s physically painful.  Like you have to escape the feeling at all cost.   For me boredom is the same as extreme physical stress.

I think this is why kids with ADHD that have this feeling do dumb things and get into trouble.  You feel caged in and have no power to do anything about it. I have a “strategic plan” that gives me some options instead.

I’m sitting in class feeling anxious and this is how I handled it:

• First, I excused myself calmly and respectfully from my math class and went to the counseling office where I know I’m always welcome and safe.
• Then I checked in with my mom on my phone to let her know what I was planning.  She now trusts I will make good decisions about school.
• Last I went to my teachers for the afternoon blocks and  got the work we would be doing today and went home.

My strategy: why I was “allowed” to go home.

Going home is part of my behavior plan that I wrote with my parents and the school principal.

I use this strategy when I feel inside like I’m going to explode either from being bored, angry , frustrated or sad.

Going home is one of my emotion-regulating strategies to be successful at school. It’s actually been a really great strategy.

In the past I was forced to stay in school, in class, trapped, and it made the emotion worse and then I would explode, and get in trouble.

I almost never get in trouble now because I have a plan — but when I do get in trouble, we have a way of dealing with it that works great.

Get your own Behaviour Plan! Click here to download my FREE behaviour plan template that you can work out with your parents and school. 

Is it avoiding my responsibility if I am allowed to go home early?

Going home I will have a better chance of actually getting my work done now that I am at home. It’s not like I’m just going home to eat and play video games. I get organized, do my work at home, and re-group.

Is it “skipping” class or “being bad?”

I don’t think this qualifies as “bad” or “skipping class” because I’ve planned this with the principal and my parents ahead of time.  My teachers know the situation and they have agreed to work with it. I normally have one parent working from home — but I’m also old enough to be home on my own.

BUT I don’t do this very often because I actually like school these days. Ironically, having the “right” to go home helps me like being there.  But some days, I am just overloaded with boredom, and it’s good to have a plan.

NOTE that I do not endorse skipping without your parents’ permission at all. In fact, it’s important to have your teachers’ permission too.  I don’t leave school early unless I am allowed to, and everyone knows what’s going on. 

I think if I abused this plan — and avoided my work by leaving too often, not doing my homework or skipping tests — I would probably lose the chance to choose when I need to go home. So, it’s my last resort — and this way, I think it gives me what I need to “keep it together” at school.

Share your thoughts in the comments below — what strategies work for you? Have you tried to plan a “last resort plan” with your school?